


Thoughts of You

by Jessica_Bones_Winchester



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Angst, F/M, Mind Control, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-19
Updated: 2018-03-19
Packaged: 2019-04-04 20:24:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,480
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14028063
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jessica_Bones_Winchester/pseuds/Jessica_Bones_Winchester
Summary: Author's Notes: This fic was written for @star-spangled-man-with-a-plan's Marvel Mayhem challenge on Tumblr. - Prompt: "You were the only one I saw when I closed my eyes."





	Thoughts of You

Steve fought the ten men around him through a haze.

"Keep fighting, Captain Rogers." A German accent cut through the fog. "It will only push the tranquilizer through your body faster."

The admission urged Steve on. If he was going down, he would go down swinging.

He didn't remember when he stopped fighting, but the tranquilizer must have done its job. He was strapped - bolted down, really - into a chair. Arms, legs, and head, all restrained. Someone shoved a mouth guard between his teeth.

"Welcome back, Captain. Today is the day you change sides. You will enjoy HYDRA. Much better than SHIELD, in my opinion."

Steve fought against the restraints, but he was weak.

"It's no use. We have a steady stream of tranquilizer running through an IV. Just relax. It will make this easier on you, though you won't remember any of it. You won't remember anything."

Steve forced his eyes open long enough to take in the room. One way in and out. A guard outside, at least one that he could see though the small window in the door. More could be waiting, and probably were. Inside, there was the man who had been talking. A doctor, judging by the lab coat. One nurse.

A second man entered, this one in a military uniform.

"Are we ready?"

"Just give the word, and Captain Rogers's memory will be gone."

"No. Orders have changed. Don't wipe his memory. Turn it against him."

"I don't understand."

"Make him believe that those he loves are his enemies. He will destroy them himself, without a second thought."

"This will take more time."

"We have time. We need a soldier... the new Winter Soldier."

"It will be done."

The doctor gave a slight bow, and the other man left. Steve fought against his restraints, but they wouldn't give.

"Well, Captain, we have a new mission. Who do you care about? Will you show me?"

Steve struggled, but the doctor set electrodes onto his head and flipped a switch. A whir of electricity filled the room as the machine reached its charge.

"Show me the one you love the most... that person will become your greatest enemy."

Steve blanked his mind. He stared at a lightbulb above his head. Then the pain hit, and images of you filled his thoughts.

\-------------------------

You searched for Steve for two months with no luck. Tony, with all his resources, came up empty at every turn.

Steve had insisted on going in alone. No one wanted to agree, but he was adamant. When communication was lost you all rushed in, but Steve was gone, and the place was empty.

Clint said what everyone was thinking. It was a setup. Someone wanted Rogers, and he just strolled right in, and never came out.

You'd never had the chance to tell him how you felt.

For two solid months, finding Steve was the only mission. So, it was a shock when FRIDAY casually announced that Steve was entering the compound.

You jumped up from your desk and ran to the common room. Tony and Wanda were the only others there. Everyone else was in the field, searching.

You gasped when Steve walked in.

"Rogers, man, where the hell have you been?"

Tony reached out his hand. Steve took it and flung Tony across the room, into Wanda. His eyes locked with yours, and he lumbered toward you.

"Steve, what are you doing?"

Steve grabbed at you, but you managed to move out of the way by rolling over a coffee table.

"Steve, stop. It's me."

"I know."

He tossed the table aside, wrapped his hand around your throat, and pinned you to the wall. He stared at his hand in confusion as he tried to squeeze. Wanda was on her feet, using her powers to pull his fingers back as best as she could against his strength.

Steve yelled as he let you go. You fell down the wall, only for him to catch you with his other hand and throw you to the floor. He pulled his fist back, and you waited for the blow you knew would kill you, but it didn't come. Wanda still pulled against him.

Steve stared down at you, his hand at your throat while he strained to end your life with the other.

"Steve," you croaked. "Please. Don't."

"I have to."

"No."

"You're my enemy."

"No. I'm not."

"Enemy." He ground the word through his teeth as he squeezed your throat tighter.

You gasped for air, and choked out his name. "I love you. Please."

The rage on Steve's face grew, and you began to see black spots, but then his hands was gone.

You choked and gasped for air, barely aware of the yell coming from Steve as he punched through the sofa. It's stuffing coated the floor with Steve on his knees in the middle of it all. His fists were balled tight, his head was down, and he breathed so deep his entire body shook before he let it out.

Wanda rushed toward you, but you held your hand out. Steve was still too close, and you didn't want her to get hurt. You motioned for her to check on Tony. He hadn't gotten up.

"Steve?"

His head snapped to the side. "Stay away."

"Ok."

"I don't want to hurt you."

"Then why were you trying to."

"You're my enemy."

"But I'm not."

"I know," he yelled.

"Do you?"

"I... I don't know."

You pressed your luck by repeating what seemed to get through to him.

"Steve... I love you."

He sat back on his heels and held his head in his hands. "Enemy."

"I love you."

"Stop saying that!"

"No. I love you."

"Stop it."

You moved to kneel in front of him. "I love you."

He yelled and grabbed you by the throat. You clutched at his hand, but it was no use.

"I love you."

He shook his head, and his grip loosened.

"I love you."

He blinked and the softness you knew all too well was back in his eyes. He whispered your name.

"I love you, Steve."

"Oh, God... what did I do?"

He moved his hand to the back of your neck and pulled you into his arms.

"I'm so sorry."

"I love you."

You gripped the straps of his uniform and kept whispering the words.

\-------------------------

Steve watched as Banner performed his exam and made his notes.

"Well, you seem fine. Wanda was able to pinpoint what they put in your head. Thankfully it didn't take too well."

"It took well enough. I almost killed her, Bruce. She hasn't even come to see me. Not that I blame her."

"Give her time."

You knocked on the door as you poked your head in, and Bruce smiled.

"See?"

"Can I come in?"

"I'd like that," Steve said.

Bruce nodded. "Would you like me to stay, or..."

"He's better, right?"

"Good as new."

"Then, would you mind giving us a minute?"

"Not a problem."

Bruce left, but you stayed by the door. Steve stared at the bruises on your neck.

"I'm so sorry."

"It wasn't you, Steve."

"But it was."

You took a hesitant step forward. "What happened?"

"I already gave Tony my report."

"I know. I read it." You took another step. "Why did you think I was your enemy?"

"That's what they made me believe."

"But why me? You threw Tony and Wanda aside. You targeted me. Why?"

"They were going to wipe my memories, but at the last minute they decided to use them against me. They were going to turn the people I care for into my enemies. The probed my thoughts for the people I love the most. I tried to make my mind go blank. I focused on a light and just stared, but the pain was so bad that I couldn't keep my eyes open, and..."

"And what?"

Steve stared at you. "You were the only one I saw when I closed my eyes."

You grinned and finally stood next to his bed. "So, just random bad luck, huh?"

"No. You're the only person I ever see when I close my eyes. And I almost killed you." He took your hand in his. "I love you."

You smiled and squeezed his hand. "I love you, too."

"Yeah, I thought I heard that once or twice."

"Or twenty."

"It got through to me. I don't know how, but it did."

Steve sat up and brushed his lips over the bruises on your throat.

"I'm so sorry."

You closed your eyes and sighed. Your fingers sank into Steve's hair, holding him against you as his lips traveled along your jaw.

"I guess you'll just have to make it up to me."

Steve pulled back and waited for you to open your eyes. "Anything you want, sweetheart."

"I want you."

"You've got me."


End file.
